I have time to write on my blog, but I choose not to because I'm lazy or distracted. A couple of years ago when I was writing my east coast blog, I posted my new year's resolutions. This year, I posted them on my fridge, where they are a daily reminder of how bad I am at keeping new year's resolutions. Just another cliche to get me through the day.
Speaking of cliches, I really hate it when people who are well into their twenties write things in their blogs and Facebook notes like "the sound of the rain of the pavement at night reminds me of the time when we used to dance" or something like that; I'm not very good at emulating emo poetry. But you all know what I mean. The point is, they should know better by know. Being all melodramatic and angsty is so grade 10.
I've been reading a bunch of Malcolm Gladwell's writing lately, and it has really rekindled my interest in writing for myself. I've barely read or written anything at all in the last year. I really enjoy his work, I think that he is one of the most interesting modern writers of popular non-fiction. I was never much for fictional story telling, but I felt very satisfied when I was able to produce a good piece of non-fiction prose. I guess that's kind of what I'm going for here, and I really dig Gladwell's style. It feels very conversational and I like that.
The biggest reason that I left the university was that I couldn't stand unnecessarily inflated academic writing. It offended me. Sentences like "the culture of post-capitalist hegemony invests itself in the politics of pedagogical institutions"* drove me right out of the English department. Literary critics writing criticisms of the writing of other literary critics has got to be the biggest waste of ink, paper and brain power of all time.
I spend a few minutes every week or two wondering if every argument that I make for why I decided to quit is really to justify it to myself. I say that I'm 100% convinced that it was the right move, but I don't necessarily agree with myself all the time. Maybe I had the wrong attitude; maybe I was just too lazy; maybe I'm not smart enough to see it through to its end. I can't say that I didn't learn a lot while I was there, and I certainly had some fantastic experiences and brilliant profs along the way. I just hated the politics of it. The expectations.
Now I'm just rambling, but I'm trying to reach for a way to rectify my indebtedness to university education for teaching me how to think and write and argue with my extreme dislike of the bureaucracy of academia. I started to feel like I was being tricked into buying a piece of some giant, quadrennial edu-cycle machine. It felt like shoveling coal into the boiler of a big steamer that was supposedly aimed at the promised land of improved job prospects and income earning potential. The catch is that you don't get to take a break to come above decks and take a look for yourself, you just have to trust this inaccessible gang of navigators who tell you that's where you're headed.
I've always enjoyed writing, but struggled with the endings, as is the case again here today. Because I don't have to agonize over how I'm going to wrap up an essay and therefore earn a good grade, I end up writing these awkward outro segments that inevitably trail off with "well, that's all folks," or some cheap variation thereof. Note to self: work on better endings. So, until next time, keep fit and have fun.
*To see the website where I got that sentence, check out this link.
February 7, 2010
December 1, 2009
In transit
I know that I said my next post would be about my guitars. I lied. I will still write about them, but I want to include pictures and the cable to connect the camera to the computer is still in a box. I'm actually, ahem, borrowing someone's wireless network because we have yet to get interweb hookups in the new place. I don't miss it much, to be honest, but it certainly has its uses.
I want to say "but I digress," but I hate that phrase. It's so overused. There has to be a better phrase to identify a segue... Something to think about for later. Anyways...
The experiences of this past month - those that prompted this move to a new house - have been the most stressful of my life. I was physically exhausted by anger and frustration. Now that we have settled, and that the issues have been all but resolved, I welcome the opportunity to sit and reflect on what I have learned.
I have learned to detach myself from material things. In preparation for the move, I purged my personal belongings. One of my co-workers said something the other day that I found quite insightful; he said that we never really own anything, we just have long-term rentals. I do not enjoy the feeling of being tied to physical objects. They are cumbersome, and maintaining them costs time and money. I'm sure that I share a common sentiment in saying that I rarely have enough of either. That which I do have, I would rather spend with my family and friends. In seeking to satisfy our personal desires, how often do we overlook the ease with which we can fulfill our needs? I try to remind myself every day to be grateful for the lasting things in life, the necessities that I am never without.
I have learned that the support from my family and friends is unconditional. Even when I doubted myself, and the course of action that I ought to take, there was always someone to remind or reassure or assist. I am deeply grateful to those who helped me to get through this difficult time. Thank you all for your kindness.
I have learned that the seasons of our lives will always bring winters. There's something poetic (though I lack the poetry to truly expound upon it) in the cold, the bitterness, the pressing need to overcome in order to make new beginnings. Difficulties in relationships, personal wellness, finances and many other trials are passing things, often prolonged only by unwillingness to take significant action to overcome them. Perhaps I was in need of something drastic to push me out of complacency.
Finally, I have learned that between full-time work, duties as a father and housekeeper, commitments to musical projects, and the many other distractions of modern life, an opportunity to sit in my recliner and quietly enjoy a beer at the end of the day should never be passed up. So with that, I bid you all goodnight.
I want to say "but I digress," but I hate that phrase. It's so overused. There has to be a better phrase to identify a segue... Something to think about for later. Anyways...
The experiences of this past month - those that prompted this move to a new house - have been the most stressful of my life. I was physically exhausted by anger and frustration. Now that we have settled, and that the issues have been all but resolved, I welcome the opportunity to sit and reflect on what I have learned.
I have learned to detach myself from material things. In preparation for the move, I purged my personal belongings. One of my co-workers said something the other day that I found quite insightful; he said that we never really own anything, we just have long-term rentals. I do not enjoy the feeling of being tied to physical objects. They are cumbersome, and maintaining them costs time and money. I'm sure that I share a common sentiment in saying that I rarely have enough of either. That which I do have, I would rather spend with my family and friends. In seeking to satisfy our personal desires, how often do we overlook the ease with which we can fulfill our needs? I try to remind myself every day to be grateful for the lasting things in life, the necessities that I am never without.
I have learned that the support from my family and friends is unconditional. Even when I doubted myself, and the course of action that I ought to take, there was always someone to remind or reassure or assist. I am deeply grateful to those who helped me to get through this difficult time. Thank you all for your kindness.
I have learned that the seasons of our lives will always bring winters. There's something poetic (though I lack the poetry to truly expound upon it) in the cold, the bitterness, the pressing need to overcome in order to make new beginnings. Difficulties in relationships, personal wellness, finances and many other trials are passing things, often prolonged only by unwillingness to take significant action to overcome them. Perhaps I was in need of something drastic to push me out of complacency.
Finally, I have learned that between full-time work, duties as a father and housekeeper, commitments to musical projects, and the many other distractions of modern life, an opportunity to sit in my recliner and quietly enjoy a beer at the end of the day should never be passed up. So with that, I bid you all goodnight.
November 4, 2009
Testing the waters
Recently, I decided that it would be beneficial to keep a personal blog. I follow a few different blogs on a daily or weekly basis, and enjoy keeping up with the lives of friends and others. While I was living in Charlottetown a couple of years ago, I kept a blog with the intent of keeping in touch with friends and family back home. I would often feel better after posting an entry, and writing in a casual and non-academic format helped me to break away from the grind of all of the term papers and essays that I was working on at the time.
After quitting school last year and leaving the U of A, I have done very little writing. It's high time to get back at it. I still like to go back and read my Charlottetown blog once in a while, because it reminds me of all of the experiences that I had while I was there and brings back a lot of fond memories. Now that I have a son, I feel that this is the time of my life that I will most want to remember. Realizing my experiences through writing and sharing that writing with others has always been my method for understanding the world and my place in it.
Returning to an art form, if I can call it that, after a long period of absence is awkward and difficult. I literally sat in front of my computer monitor for over an hour just trying to decide what my blog's title should be. The breadth of options can be paralyzing. I had all of these clever ideas, but every time I entered them into the field where you pick your blog's URL, I found that someone had beaten me to it, and my little buds of creativity retreated into their stalks.
Reverb/chorus. It's music-related, as is my entire life. It has some deeper meaning somewhere that I'm not going to hash out here for the sake of everyone who reads this. It's polyphonic, it's vocal, it's somehow relevant to all of this.
I hope that some people will read this as I write it and call me out on things that I say I'll do, and bug me to update about events in my life and experiences with my wife and my baby. I think that doing this will help me to keep my life more organized, because when I don't write things down, I always forget to do them. It's likely that my first few attempts at writing again will be utter crap, but bear with me, because I'll need some practice to get my brain and my fingers back on track.
Stay de-tuned. Like my guitar. Next post, I'll write about my guitars because I really like them and if I don't, someone will send me a message saying, "Dude, why haven't you updated your blog yet, I want to read about your guitars."
Time to quit, goodnight everyone.
After quitting school last year and leaving the U of A, I have done very little writing. It's high time to get back at it. I still like to go back and read my Charlottetown blog once in a while, because it reminds me of all of the experiences that I had while I was there and brings back a lot of fond memories. Now that I have a son, I feel that this is the time of my life that I will most want to remember. Realizing my experiences through writing and sharing that writing with others has always been my method for understanding the world and my place in it.
Returning to an art form, if I can call it that, after a long period of absence is awkward and difficult. I literally sat in front of my computer monitor for over an hour just trying to decide what my blog's title should be. The breadth of options can be paralyzing. I had all of these clever ideas, but every time I entered them into the field where you pick your blog's URL, I found that someone had beaten me to it, and my little buds of creativity retreated into their stalks.
Reverb/chorus. It's music-related, as is my entire life. It has some deeper meaning somewhere that I'm not going to hash out here for the sake of everyone who reads this. It's polyphonic, it's vocal, it's somehow relevant to all of this.
I hope that some people will read this as I write it and call me out on things that I say I'll do, and bug me to update about events in my life and experiences with my wife and my baby. I think that doing this will help me to keep my life more organized, because when I don't write things down, I always forget to do them. It's likely that my first few attempts at writing again will be utter crap, but bear with me, because I'll need some practice to get my brain and my fingers back on track.
Stay de-tuned. Like my guitar. Next post, I'll write about my guitars because I really like them and if I don't, someone will send me a message saying, "Dude, why haven't you updated your blog yet, I want to read about your guitars."
Time to quit, goodnight everyone.
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